Its 4am.
&
I can't sleep.
Why??
I've no answer.
My mind just kept thinking and thinking.
I don't know what my feelings were up to.
I don't even know whether I'm happy, sad or just normal.
I've done my sahur just now for puasa Arafah. Hmm.
Why this is happening to me?? Sometimes i just couldn't take it.
Sometimes i wish to leave alone on this earth.
I miss spending times with my friends.
I miss playing soccer with my YCSS friends.
I miss talking cock with my guy friends. Ahh.
I miss jamming.
I'm just...Fucked up.
Don't know. How can this be?
Well I've lost my best & good friends.
& I really miss all of you.

People came out with this phrase,
"To err is human"
But it seems that every single one around me that i knew has changed.
Or maybe i'm changing? I just can't realize. But i know, I've lost a lot of friends.

My old buddies kept asking me out. Be it soccer, town or shopping.
But i just kept refraining from their offers.
Sometimes i really feel lertagic, restless, easily agitated.
Is it because of my sleeping hours?
Maybe yes because i slept only 3-5 hrs? And my bloody red sofa bed is putting up an ache in my back.
Sigh.

I wish i could go for a holiday. Maybe a month to relax myself.
Exploring the beautiful world, the blue ocean, the green environment.
I'm thinking too much.
I'm sorry God.
Please forgive me.
Increase my strength and patience to face this miracle-earth.

I just wish i could be born again.